Hot Topic Friday: April 24

Happy Friday! Here are my April 24 Hot Topics and how they relate to advancing culture or leadership.

Hot Topic 1: Emotionally Intelligent Ways to Kick Off a Virtual Meeting

Source: Inc.

What It’s About: Brené Brown, who some of you may know from the book Dare to Lead and her Netflix special, talks about the importance of making an emotional connection before kicking off any meeting, especially virtual ones. She notes that since you can't check in with your team in-person or read body language clues, it's important to verbally inquire instead. However, if you simply ask “how is everybody?” the answer might be a glib “fine,” “ok,” etc. Think of it like asking your teenager how their day at school went. The responses may or may not be how people are really feeling. Luckily, Brown has a more effective check in process.

“To gauge how people are really feeling, Brown has her entire 30-person team do a short exercise before kicking off a Zoom meeting. Everyone gives a 2-word feeling check-in.”

So What?: Unlocking and giving people a chance to express their feelings often clears the way for folks to concentrate more on the content of the meeting. Just the ability to name one’s feelings can help us move forward. It puts us more fully in the present.

Now What?: Try Brown’s technique in bold italics above. I have, and it works great. And don’t worry about copying the process. It never gets tiresome when it’s real. As the article notes: “The brilliance in this question is two-fold: First, it's super short. It doesn't take long for everyone to give their answer. It gives permission for people to quickly name their feelings without judgement. Second, it acknowledges that we humans often feel many things at once.” Try it for yourself.

One Millennial Response: Intrigued, terse.

Hot Topic 2: How Old Are You, Emotionally?

Source: TheLadders.com, Niklas Goke.

What It’s About: As we continue to grow and develop, emotional intelligence (EI) is of course every bit as important as our intellectual prowess. In this article, the author states that emotional maturity is the foundation of solid mental health and happiness. If you handle your emotions well, you can create positivity and meaning from even the worst of experiences. To help us develop our EI, he suggests that we can accelerate by stopping or doing less of some things. What are they?

So What?: We just soak up some habits over the years. We use them as default behaviors even when we don’t want to, or know we should avoid them. So the “observe, stop or reduce” strategy is sometimes easier than the “learn, add and increase” approach. As the article guides us, look for the following four tendencies in your life and try to reduce them. If we do, “no matter how old you are on paper, your emotional maturity will bloom.”

Now What?: Stop or reduce the Big Four Emotional pitfalls.

Escaping From Emotionally Challenging Situations: “Escapism is a form of clouding your emotions rather than clarifying them. When faced with a situation that will lead to difficult feelings, or even just the prospect of one, our natural impulse is to run away and hide… Emotionally mature people know that difficult feelings are just part of life, and they don’t run away when they can sense these feelings rising in their stomach.”
Blaming Others: “The blame game is a way of shielding our self-image. Pointing fingers temporarily moderates fear and guilt and creates a sense of certainty where, in reality, we probably know too little to accurately judge the situation… Emotionally mature people understand how little they understand, but they don’t let a lack of context and certainty drive them into hurried conclusions.” (Note: I think blame is waste).
Beating Yourself Up: “Excessive self-criticism is a distorted form of seeking reassurance. If you nuke your self-esteem at the first sign of it being scratched, no one else can do it for you. You feel in control because ‘it was all your fault to begin with…’ Emotional maturity is remembering that, even though you can’t change them, past versions of yourself are still versions of a person worth loving.”
Fighting Battles Not Worth Fighting: “The human story is a story of growth, but it doesn’t always have to be a story of struggle. We often conflate the two, and many of us are raised to believe the only path to growth leads through struggle… Emotional maturity is being pragmatic and realistic at the same time — you don’t take life personally, you don’t assume others hurt you on purpose, and you don’t pick fights over things that don’t matter.”

This is one heck of a great article. Niklas Goke writes with insight and wisdom. Read it.

One Millennial Response: I’m sure many if not all of these fall under the “easier said than done” category. However, when you see them thoughtfully listed and explained, you can see how reducing these behaviors would immediately increase your EI, even if your emotions were seemingly born on leap year.

My Weekly Wine Recommendation.

Bread & Butter Chardonnay

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[Ed Note: We tried this wine recently, a great tasting white to pair with the warmer weather. Find it at your local wine shops.]

And finally! Here’s Cecil’s Bleat of the Week!

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“If you give a good idea to a mediocre team, they will screw it up. If you give a mediocre idea to a brilliant team, they will either fix it or throw it away and come up with something better.” - Ed Catmull

Bye for now!

— Lorne Rubis

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Happy Friday! Here are my April 24 Hot Topics and how they relate to advancing culture or leadership.

Hot Topic 1: Emotionally Intelligent Ways to Kick Off a Virtual Meeting

Hot Topic 2: How Old Are You, Emotionally?

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