Hot Topic Friday: June 26

Happy Friday! Here are my June 26 Hot Topics and how they relate to advancing culture or leadership.

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Hot Topic 1: Getting Laid Off Just Sucks.

What It’s About: Let’s discuss the emotional pain of being laid off, and some strategies to help people navigate this. From the article: “About a week before I was laid off for the first time, my manager assured me my job was safe. The company was being restructured, but I was told that I was needed and my job wasn’t going anywhere. Then the call came.’I know this isn’t what you expected,’ my boss told me. True, I wanted to say, because you told me it wouldn’t happen. Last month — just a few years later — I was laid off again, along with about 40 percent of the company.”

So What?: The picture, literal or virtual, of people getting walked out after a layoff is painful for ALL. Obviously, if you're leaving with a box of stuff, it hurts the most. And for those still employed, there is both remorse and often guilt from thinking, “whew, glad it wasn’t me.” And unless the boss is a stone cold jerk, they hate the experience too.

Now What?: Management: Focus on understanding and creating psychological safety. However, stop lying, even with the best intentions, that there will be no layoffs. Unfortunately, it is just NOT TRUE. You can be growing the company like crazy and overnight, technology and/or a sudden market shift can cause a restructure. That’s your job in management; to optimize resources for the long term sustainability of the institution. However, you CAN make it Psychologically Safe through respectful candor, transparency and dignified ways of asking people to leave… Way better than we do it today! I’ve happened to address this strategy in detail recently. Put as much into the leaving/grieving process as the selection/on-boarding process. People should enter a company knowing that assignments can change at any time. The assurance is personal equity growth and dignified exits.

Laid Off: If you’re laid off, read this entire article and more. However, at a high level: Don’t let it defeat you. Accept that it stinks, and yet it is NOT about your overall personal value or worth. (although self-doubt is normal). After a pause to regroup, do stuff of value for yourself and others ASAP. Per the article: “Try to take meaningful action, like doing necessary paperwork, right-sizing your household budget and taking online courses to brush up your skills, to avoid plummeting into shame and stress spirals.” Do not isolate and go it alone. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You’re in a common club most people will experience several times. Create, and do things of value. Give to others. Build on that. And yes...it sucks.

One Millennial Response: As recently as June 25, on Austin’s KOKE FM country radio, the DJ’s were discussing the rising popularity of letting employees go through email and text in a Zoom age. The radio personalities felt leaders owed it to their employees to make it a face-to-face affair, even if it’s through Zoom. The trending argument is that email layoffs offer more details, because text tends to be more straightforward. However, that sounds like a cop out to ease the tension for the employer, doesn’t it? It’s awful for an employee to be on the receiving end, and it’s not easy for a leader to conduct layoffs, but that’s because it shouldn’t be. It should suck.

Hot Topic 2: Investing in Personal Resilience.

Source: New York Times. Zimmerman.

What It’s About: According to the article: “The most significant determinant of resilience — noted in nearly every review or study of resilience in the last 50 years — is the quality of our close personal relationships, especially with parents and primary caregivers. Early attachments to parents play a crucial, lifelong role in human adaptation. ‘How loved you felt as a child is a great predictor of how you manage all kinds of difficult situations later in life,’ said Bessel van der Kolk, a professor of psychiatry at Boston University School of Medicine who has been researching post-traumatic stress since the 1970s. He is the founder of the Trauma Research Foundation in Boston.”

So What?: Ok. So the quality of our close personal relationships for the first 20 years of life run the spectrum. Those well-loved have a resiliency hedge. However, we can ALL build and invest in a positive tool-kit that minimizes drugs, alcohol, overeating, and other mood modifiers that numb us rather than help us become more resilient. So how might we consciously invest in things that build the resilience muscle. What are the tools?

Now What?: As noted by Zimmerman: “Seven M. Southwick, professor emeritus of psychiatry, PTSD and Resilience at Yale University School of Medicine and co-author of the book ‘Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges’ exclaims, ‘If you can cope today with all that’s happening in the world around you, then when you are on the other side of it, you’ll be stronger.’ The tools common to resilient people are optimism (that is also realistic), a moral compass, religious or spiritual beliefs, cognitive and emotional flexibility, and social connectedness. The most resilient among us are people who generally don’t dwell on the negative, who look for opportunities that might exist even in the darkest times. During a quarantine, for example, a resilient person might decide it is a good time to start a meditation practice, take an online course or learn to play guitar. Research has shown that dedication to a worthy cause or a belief in something greater than oneself — religiously or spiritually — has a resilience-enhancing effect, as does the ability to be flexible in your thinking. Many, many resilient people learn to carefully accept what they can’t change about a situation and then ask themselves what they can actually,’ Dr. Southwick said. Conversely, banging your head against the wall and fretting endlessly about not being able to change things has the opposite effect, lessening your ability to cope.”

Ok, a little resilience muscle building for me: Drink one less beer or glass of wine, shelf the Cheezies a little. Take that Master Class online. Connect with others on Zoom or other platforms more. Pick up that guitar? (That’s for you Garrett, haha) Send someone a note of thanks. Call your Mom and thank her. Take up that HeadSpace app. A little less Netflix. Be enormously thankful for what I have. Enjoy the simplicity of less.

One Millennial Response: One thing I dislike is the seemingly incredible investment in normalizing and celebrating the idea that “people love to commiserate and complain.” It’s not only a phrase you’ve likely heard, it feels like it’s a business. That’s probably because resilience takes discipline and hard freakin’ work. And lots of it! (Sure, and sometimes you’ll stop playing guitar like 15 years ago, and still get reminded of it). Complaining is a whole lot easier, but it’s not the most enjoyable path.

My Weekly Wine Recommendation.

Justin Cabernet Sauvignon

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[Ed Note: Find it at your local wine shops.]

And finally! Here’s Cecil’s Bleat of the Week!

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“Leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves.” - L. David Marquet.

Bye for now!

— Lorne Rubis

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Happy Friday! Here are my June 26 Hot Topics and how they relate to advancing culture or leadership.

Hot Topic 1: Getting Laid Off Just Sucks.

Hot Topic 2: Investing in Personal Resilience.

Source: New York Times. Zimmerman.

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