The Revenge of the Missed Birthday

In my 50-plus years of working, I can honestly tell you that I cannot remember one time when my birthday was celebrated. I’m sure it was, but there is zero recollection.

I do remember my first and last days at any work place, and there are certainly big moments that really mattered in between.

The moments I remember:

My first promotion to a company officer and VP in a fortune 50 company was huge.
The time I resigned from the same organization, also is forever seared in my soul.
Several milestone awards for genuine excellence received with my colleagues are cherished.
I also was part of a handful of people that won a huge contract, and saved a company that is now a billion dollar revenue legacy organization. It remains a personal reference point of pride.
My first CEO role.

I’m blessed to have many of these moments in my work life.

That’s why I was surprised by the following Wharton research:

“A missed birthday. A forgotten anniversary. A milestone that goes unnoticed. These small slights from a manager may seem like no big deal, but new research from Wharton reveals that even the mildest of mistreatment at work can affect more than just employee morale.

The study found that when managers at a national retail chain failed to deliver birthday greetings on time, it resulted in a 50% increase in absenteeism and a reduction of more than two working hours per month. The lost productivity was a form of revenge, with slighted employees taking more paid sick time, arriving late, leaving early, and taking longer breaks.”

Huh?

I’m tough on employers for not creating conditions for people to thrive. However, in this case, I’m wondering if employee sensitivity to “mouse nuts” like a missed birthday, is a little thin skinned and an over reaction?

Wouldn’t you much rather have a leadership system committed to personal development and moments that really matter? Any decent workplace platform can systematically send a birthday or anniversary card. To me, if that’s the bar for personal acknowledgment, we’ve hit the rock bottom of appreciation and recognition.

Maybe that’s the message? If you can’t even remember my workplace anniversary then screw you and I will take my revenge!

My plea is for employers and employees to focus on moments that really matter. I vote for:

The first day/week.
The last day/week.
Key milestones and accomplishments.
Key learning moments (including failures/ disappointments).
Major anniversary milestones.
And last of all, maybe birthdays?

Revenge of any kind is pure waste and diminishes all. Let’s not do that!

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now,

- Lorne

Garrett’s View: Oh, the birthday thing… We get it, some people are “birthday month” people, and some people wish their birthdays didn’t exist. Needless to say, if a birthday celebration at work is high on your priority list, in Texas we’d say “bless your heart.”

AI Response: The Wharton study's findings are indeed striking, showing that overlooked small gestures like birthdays can have measurable impacts, with a 50% rise in absenteeism and over two lost work hours monthly per slighted employee. This isn't necessarily about thin skin, but rather psychology: these omissions are often interpreted as symbolic of a broader lack of personal care or recognition within the organizational culture. While your advocacy for focusing on substantive professional milestones is valid, the data suggests that for many employees, these "small slights" act as a critical barometer for feeling valued, and when failed, trigger a disproportionate, costly reaction. The ideal approach likely combines your call for celebrating major achievements with systemic, genuine acknowledgment of personal moments, as both signal respect and foster loyalty.

The Revenge of the Missed Birthday

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