Forgiveness in Work (And Life)

The workplace is a microcosm of everyday life. It is defined by a permeable boundary that best encapsulates an employer/employment relationship along with a social structure or culture. It is understandable then, that people will be in conflict, and some of us will be seduced into holding grudges.

It saddens me to hear public officials talk about and/or act with revenge and retribution. Also to explain it away as somehow human or justified is hopelessly wrong. Other than perhaps a moment of misguided gratification seeing someone else suffer, there is no redeeming benefit to revenge. Advancing oneself and others comes from forgiveness. Yet, the act of forgiveness seems allusive or even counterintuitive. Why?

Forgiving can evoke the feeling of weakness, or somehow counterproductive to being tough enough to apply punishing retribution. The Hollywood narrative has made billions tapping into justified revenge; the hero delivers “payback.” However, a healthy life is about moving forward rather than superficial entertainment.

The following is from a thought provoking essay on the matter of forgiveness, recently published in the New York Times: “Far from being a burdensome act of moral sacrifice, forgiveness may be deeply restorative. I have come to realize that the conditions from which forgiveness unfolds matter more than the act of forgiving itself. The psychological and moral flexibility required for a forgiving gesture — even when one’s internal compass points in the opposite direction and the offender seems undeserving — is precisely what prepares us to imagine a reality in which we begin to heal. It also helps us consider the journey of the person we’re forgiving.”

This is a big idea and topic. Throughout my 50 years in the workplace, I’ve seen people consumed by payback and revenge. How wasteful for all involved? I wish people could find a way to forgive more. It is, as the NYT researcher points out, so restorative. It is even more than that. It is a foundational condition to advance ourselves and move forward. Otherwise, the cycle of unforgiving retribution continues and binds us to the downward cycle of hate, revenge, retribution, payback and the related ugliness that hinders the freedom and healing that emerges from forgiveness. Invest in yourself through the forgiveness of others. You and our compassionate selves are worthy of the investment and healing return.

Forgive now. Don’t wait.

- Lorne

One Millennial View: If you’re passionate about your contribution as a leader/team member and you care about the organization you represent, you’ll make the time and consideration for forgiveness. If you’re aiming for revenge, it’s likely you have short sighted ambitions for your own position, reputation and worst of all, you’re zero pleasure to work with. Look, with all these exponential tech/A.I. advancements, solid, trusting relationships are going to be high value currency. People are going to hire/promote/retain humans with the skillset to mesh well and be cool, while ChatGPT and whatever’s next can replace the vengeful turds with ulterior motives.

- Garrett

Forgiveness in Work (And Life)

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