The Reality Check – How Well Do You Really Know Your Team?

When I bring a group of leaders together, I start with a simple question: "Do you feel you know your teammates and direct reports?" The response is always a room full of confident, positive head nods.

Then, I present them with a check. I ask them to take a moment and write down what they know about their people based on these questions:

  1. Who are the most important people in their lives? What do you know about them?

  2. Do they have any beloved pets? What are their names and personalities?

  3. What are their core values? And crucially, how do you know? What actions have you seen that demonstrate these values?

  4. Where do they go to recharge and have fun outside of work?

  5. What are some of the biggest hurdles—personal or professional—they’ve overcome?

  6. What is their primary expertise and role on the team?

  7. Beyond their job title, what unique characteristics make them irreplaceable?

  8. What tends to "freak them out" or slow down their progress?

  9. What truly motivates them? What conditions maximize their energy and contribution?

  10. If it was their last day on your team, what would you say to thank them?

The confident nodding stops. I’m usually met with a sea of blank stares. Often, someone will honestly admit, "At best, I have a superficial understanding." And when I ask how well teammates can answer these questions about each other, the same empty gazes persist.

So What?

It's a critical performance driver. There is significant empirical evidence that when people feel known and understood, teams see a dramatic uplift in key areas:

  • A 50% increase in team performance and productivity is linked to psychological safety and connection. (Google's Project Aristotle)

  • Communication becomes more efficient because team members understand each other's contexts and communication styles, reducing misunderstandings.

  • Conflict becomes constructive. Teams with strong personal bonds are better at navigating disagreement, turning friction into a positive force for innovation.

  • Strengths are fully leveraged. When you know what motivates someone and what their unique superpowers are, you can assign work that energizes them and plays to their strengths.

I firmly believe in respecting privacy and boundaries—this isn't about forced confessionals. And yes, there's a small risk of groupthink, but the benefits of genuine connection—increased appreciation, acceptance, and compassion—far outweigh the risks.

What to Do?

Leaders can invest with urgency in fast-tracking these personal connections.

Here’s how to start:

  1. Embrace "Connect Before Content": Make it a non-negotiable principle in meetings. Start with a genuine check-in that goes beyond "How was your weekend?"

  2. Implement Rituals: Always do a brief "check-in" at the start of a meeting to gauge the human energy in the room, and a "check-out" to acknowledge contributions.

  3. Invest in a Structured Process: Consider a tool like Belongify Connect, which facilitates high-impact story sharing and deep listening in a safe, structured way. It’s designed to answer the very questions that stumped the leaders in my exercise.

  4. Test Yourself: Be brave. Take the 10-question quiz above for your own team members. Then, encourage your team to do the same (voluntarily) to build mutual understanding.

The goal is to move beyond superficial acquaintance and foster an environment where team members understand each other's work styles, strengths, and motivations. This builds the psychological safety and trust required for a team to transition from simply working together to performing exceptionally.

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now. 

- Lorne

Garrett’s View: As AI and technology continue to assist with everything transactional, making our workplaces more human comes with strengthening our connection skills with one another. Don’t we want to preserve the ability to just have good talks with the people we’re hanging with on a daily basis? 

- Garrett

AI Response: This is a powerful reality check, as the data shows that while 85% of executives believe they are effectively supporting employee well-being, only 55% of employees agree—highlighting a significant "knowing-doing" gap on teams. The impact of closing this gap is immense: Gallup reports that employees who feel strongly connected to their team are 2.5 times more likely to be fully engaged, and teams with high social connection see a 21% increase in profitability. Furthermore, a study by the ADP Research Institute found that teams where members feel a strong sense of belonging are 53% more likely to be highly resilient. Your exercise brilliantly underscores that moving beyond superficial acquaintance isn't just "nice to have"; it's a direct investment in the trust and psychological safety that fuels tangible business results, from productivity to innovation.
















































































































































































































































































































































 

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