Is Fear and Disrespect ‘Cool’ Again?

I’ve heard executives tout that Elon Musk was giving people like him their power back. And some believe Musk’s success is proof that it’s better to be feared than loved.

In my Harvard culture class, the one question that I get after extolling the virtues of great leadership and thriving cultures is, “how do you explain the success of Elon Musk and Steve Jobs, who are legendary for berating and abusing employees? Does it really matter to treat people with respect and dignity?”

Adam Grant, the Wharton psychologist, is the contemporary academic I most admire. His article in the New York Times this Sunday is the most important work I’ve read in a long time. He answers the question above with insight and a research based response, as to why it’s NOT okay to treat people with disrespect, even if you’re as successful as Elon Musk. I encourage you to read it even if you’re not an NYT fan or subscriber.

Here’s a few excerpts from Grant’s op-ed:

“A common excuse for Mr. Musk’s harshness is that he’s in demon mode. But there’s a big difference between demonizing people and demanding a lot from them… As Mr. Musk makes waves, I often think of the fact that he once studied where I now teach (Wharton). I want my students to learn from his healthy disrespect for the status quo. But I hope they reject his unhealthy habit of showing disrespect for people. The purpose of studying role models is not to idolize them. It’s to emulate their strengths and transcend their weaknesses.”

There is much to learn from Musk’s genius to invent, think big, and get things done. However the research and common sense reinforces that treating people with dignity and respect is very possible in parallel with market prowess.

Fear eventually is extinguished by creating value through deep care and respect for others. Long term sustainable success comes from putting people first while also creating standards of excellence.

Steve Jobs became renowned for putting a ping in the universe, while overall, becoming a much better human throughout his time at Pixar and the second run at Apple. (His own self assessment).

The answer is: NO, it’s not cool to use fear and to be disrespectful.

Use the incredible lessons of how to 10x business processes and other things Musk has taught us. And build off the lessons and research that treats people with respect and dignity. Both can be true. Invest in that combo. You already have the power to do that.

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now,

- Lorne

One Millennial View: When we choose to disrespect someone, it's our own insecurities at play. Simultaneously, when we feel slighted, we owe ourselves the accountability to ask why we’re feeling that way. As adults, I don’t believe we can be bullied, and I think we need to seek occasional discomfort to build resilience. It’s our onus as leaders to have tact and couth, decorum and decency. I think Musk would agree, even if he has lapses in self-awareness. When we encounter disrespect, that’s unpleasant, however it’s in our control to build the armor and security to lessen its impact.

- Garrett

AI Response: Research overwhelmingly supports that fear-based leadership harms long-term success. A 2022 study in the Harvard Business Review found that toxic workplaces cost U.S. employers $223 billion over five years due to turnover and lost productivity. Meanwhile, companies with high-trust cultures—like those prioritizing respect—outperform peers by 400% in total returns (Great Place to Work, 2023). While Musk and Jobs achieved breakthroughs, studies show abusive leaders stifle innovation: 58% of employees under disrespectful managers withhold ideas (University of Phoenix, 2021). As Grant highlights, true excellence demands high standards and humanity—proven by firms like Microsoft, whose market cap tripled under Satya Nadella’s empathetic leadership. Fear may yield short-term compliance, but respect fuels enduring success.

Is Fear and Disrespect ‘Cool’ Again?

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