Is the Office Birthday Party Alive and Well?

When we moved to the US, I filled out my personal information on the typical workplace forms, and by habit, filled it the “Canadian” way (Day/Month/Year). The American protocol is Month/Day/Year. So, imagine my surprise and amusement, when on the 5th day of February, a bunch of people burst into my office, candles ablaze on a giant cake, boisterously singing the Happy Birthday song. I sheepishly explained my birthday was actually May 2nd. We figured out the base for the mix up, and all had a good laugh, while we gobbled up the pastry and celebrated regardless.

Most of us recognize birthdays as an important milestone. In our immediate family, the Rubis crew makes a pretty big deal about it: Balloons, cards, cake, and of course some rituals unique to our clan (for example, the “fun box” tradition).

The office birthday experience is different. Our co-workers are not our family. Yet, with the best intentions, office” birthday celebrations are a cultural tradition that seem to have a life of their own. There’s the “secret” birthday card passed around, surprise treats, age related teasing, etc. Then came along the forever impactful Covid.

The pandemic helped the office birthday party disappear for about two years. And in parallel, other related conversations emerged. Diet requirements or preferences (allergies/health stipulations, etc.) became more clearly stated and understood. It also became tricky to determine who was in the office and when with hybrid schedules. Age privacy matters have become more sensitive (why should people know how old I am or even be invited to pry?) The list goes on.

Still, a strong ritual like the office birthday party is hard to change, and many organizations are committed to reigniting this traditional birthday celebration because, “it’s team building and good for you whether you like it or not.” Be grateful (not selfish!) and just enjoy it! (“Don’t you realize how much work was put into it?”)

I think we should put the office birthday party into the archives. Why? It’s symbolic of paternalistic bygone days that embrace a one size fits all perspective. Why not let employees choose how they want to celebrate their birthdays? The options could be time off, gift cards, public or no acknowledgement, etc. More importantly, this thinking applies to a menu of one rather than a fixed menu for all. The best kitchens can be efficient and yet accommodate the unique needs of customers. Similar thinking moves leaders and organizations more towards hospitality behavior that satisfies and replenishes, rather than force feeds.

And if you want an office birthday party, I think people will happily accommodate you. Why not? It’s YOUR birthday!

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now,

- Lorne

One Millennial View: Would you care to explain yourself to the Fun Police? Please stop finding excuses to remove or alter acts of joy, especially when the intention is so clearly well natured.

Despite our sensitivities, if we can’t appreciate an office birthday party, then maybe the next candle we blow out should be accompanied by a wish for an attitude adjustment.

- Garrett

Is the Office Birthday Party Alive and Well?

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