Lazy Leaders Choose Sides. Loving Leaders Do the Hard Work

I had lunch with a top executive the other day, and we landed on a harsh but necessary truth: leaders who think they must choose between accountability and engagement are simply being lazy.

That might sound strong, but stay with me.

The Two Traps of Lazy Leadership

Lazy leaders fall into one of two comfortable, but ultimately ineffective traps:

1. The Cold and Transactional Leader

Focus: Solely on Accountability.
How it looks: The business runs exclusively on OKRs and KPIs. People are secondary to the results. The environment becomes cold, and burnout is high.

2. The Pleaser Leader

Focus: Solely on Engagement.
How it looks: They are driven by whether the team is "happy." They shy away from hard conversations and accountability, fearing it will upset people. This often leads to mediocrity and a lack of direction.

Both approaches are an abdication of the true, difficult work of leadership. They are a choice of EITHER/OR.

The Loving Leader Embraces the “AND”

The Loving Leaders reject this false choice. They understand that high accountability and high engagement are not just compatible; they fuel each other.

What is a Loving Leader?

(Don't confuse "loving" with "soft.") They are leaders who deeply care about the organization's mission and the people who power it.

A Loving Leader believes their team wants:

To be held to a high standard. This requires clarity of expectations and consistent coaching for success.

To be seen as a unique individual. This requires caring about their development, appreciating their contributions, and understanding their personal drivers.

This is hard work. It’s easier to be lazy and pick one. A loving leader does both, simultaneously.

Why This Matters:

There’s always a temptation to lean into a trendy extreme.

In an employer's market, the "hard-ass, accountability-at-all-costs" leader gets glorified.
In an employee's market, the "please-everyone, engagement-only" leader becomes tempting.

But the best leaders see balancing both as their core, non-negotiable practice. It is relentless, rewarding work.

Stop choosing sides. The path to exceptional results and a thriving team isn't found in extremes.

Embrace the hard work of being a Loving Leader. Care deeply, and hold people to a high standard. Do both.

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now.

- Lorne

Garrett’s View: Before a challenge at my gym the other day, because we needed to pair off, the coach asked the group fitness class to go to one side of the room if they wanted to “go balls to the wall,” and the other to separate if they “just wanted to go through the workout.” Roughly 70 percent chose to have an easier day, where they would not be expected to compete, strive for a record, or be under pressure. I wonder if that’s a microcosm for the mentality of the average workspace.

This makes me have sympathy for leaders who are frustrated enough to prioritize accountability, because unfortunately when given a choice, employees might not care to achieve any results at all. Then guess what? There’s no more team to make happy, even if anyone wanted to.

Leaders are just better when they choose the harder option of being both. Additionally, us employees should strive to want the harder option, too. Yes, it’s more challenging, yet unless we lie ourselves into collective complacency, we’re so acutely aware it’s never the wrong path.

- Garrett

AI Response: The data unequivocally supports that embracing the "AND" is not just philosophical but a strategic imperative. Research by Gallup reveals that teams with high engagement show 21% higher profitability and employees are 4.6 times more likely to feel empowered to perform their best work when they receive clear expectations and accountability from their managers. Furthermore, a study by the Center for Creative Leadership found that a primary cause of executive derailment is a failure to build and maintain a team, often stemming from the "pleaser" trap of avoiding difficult conversations. Conversely, the "cold and transactional" approach is financially costly, with disengaged teams having 37% higher absenteeism and companies with a highly engaged workforce outperforming their peers by 147% in earnings per share, according to Gallup. This proves that the hard work of fusing genuine care with rigorous standards is what ultimately drives sustainable performance and a thriving organizational culture.

Lazy Leaders Choose Sides. Loving Leaders Do the Hard Work

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