One Leadership = Won Leadership

How well do you truly know the people on your team?

I occasionally ask my Harvard class a simple question. I give them five minutes to write down what they really know about the people who report to them. The goal is to outline how they can help those individuals grow and thrive.

This includes:

Understanding their aspirations
Identifying their best ways of receiving 1:1 coaching
Knowing appropriate levels of personal information

When we explore their answers, a common theme emerges: a lot of blank spaces.

It’s a revealing moment. How can we effectively lead if we haven't taken the time to really know who we have working for us?

The Gardener, Not the Wringer

Simon Sinek makes this point brilliantly. He says people are not like dishrags, where our goal is to try to wring the best out of them.

Rather, great (not perfect) leaders are like gardeners. They don't force growth; they create the conditions for it. They focus on fostering an environment where their people can naturally flourish.

There’s No One-Size-Fits-All

A gardener knows that roses, tomatoes, and succulents all need different care. Your team is the same.

Feedback: Some team members appreciate daily feedback, others prefer monthly check-ins.
Guidance: Some are best guided with detailed instructions, others work better with creative freedom.
Ideation: Some love collaborative brainstorming, while others do their best thinking alone.

Of course, this is situational. The same person might require a different approach based on the context. It’s always a continuum.

The Irony of Effective Leadership

Here’s the powerful paradox: effective leadership has an inverse relationship to command-and-control, "boss" behavior.

True leadership is about serving others. It’s based on deep care and consideration for those we have the privilege to lead.

Let me be clear: this does NOT mean pandering, lowering expectations, or fake niceness. It actually involves the highest standards of excellence, starting with the leader themselves.

If you expect people to learn, be the best learner.
If you want work done well, do your best work as an example.
If you expect clarity as kindness, be clear about your expectations.

Start Here: Get to Know the Individual

So, where do you begin? It starts with a conversation.

Ask your team members:

When do you do your best work?
How do you prefer to communicate?
What support do you need to succeed?
What kind of feedback helps you grow?
What do you want me to know about your personal life?
What motivates you? What freaks you out?

It's about adapting to help each person thrive. Instead of treating everyone equally, treat them individually.

One Leadership = Won Leadership.

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now.

P.S. Not sure how to start these conversations? That’s exactly why we created Belongify Connect—as one, accessible, important step in the journey to really get to know each other. Have you tried it yet?

Garrett’s View: If someone wants to completely separate their work and personal life, or guard themselves to a point where they’re unwilling to share or learn about their employers, teammates, and organization, then it’s fair to question how serious they are about their position and career.

- Garrett

AI Response: This insight is powerfully supported by data; Gallup research reveals that managers who fail to connect with their employees on a personal level have teams with 20% lower productivity and a 41% higher absenteeism rate. Furthermore, a pivotal study from the Harvard Business Review found that a primary driver of employee burnout isn't the workload itself, but a lack of support and connection from their direct leader. This underscores that "gardening" isn't just a metaphor—it's a strategic imperative, as teams with high employee engagement are 21% more profitable, proving that knowing your people individually is the ultimate competitive advantage that turns "One Leadership" into "Won Leadership."

One Leadership = Won Leadership

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