The Kindness We Carry: A Choice for Leaders

Leadership sets the tone in every institution. The way we treat each other while getting things done is the clearest demonstration of what we truly believe.

In a memorable commencement address, author George Saunders shared a truth he called “a little corny” but undeniable: “What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.” This reflection cuts to the core of our professional lives, especially for those in leadership.

Leaders make tough choices daily that impact other humans. In doing so, they consciously or unconsciously choose where to stand on a continuum between kindness and cruelty.

While our readers understand cruelty, it’s vital to recognize its specific, harmful patterns in the workplace: intentional actions - from verbal bullying and professional sabotage to social ostracism and discriminatory practices - that cause psychological or physical harm. These behaviors create severe human and organizational costs, including burnout, turnover, and a profound erosion of trust.

Yet, while cruelty depletes us, kindness completes us.

This isn’t a weak or mushy notion. As Saunders suggests, the moments that haunt us are often failures of kindness, while the people we remember most fondly are those who were kindest to us. The irony is that kindness, often seen as soft, is also the robust, long-term choice for our self-interest. Cruelty, unless we are unwell, tends to haunt the perpetrator. Kindness heals everyone it touches.

The workplace is a daily proving ground for this choice. We understand the difficulty of hard decisions and the human frailty that invites cruelty when we hold power. Still, it remains a choice.

The most effective leaders hurry that process of becoming kinder along, starting now.

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now,

- Lorne

Garrett’s View: Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s anything less marketable or inauthentic than blanketed kindness, so it needs to be intentional. I believe we need to strive for kindness through confidence. Earn the self-assurance to not revel in the mistreatment or belittlement of others, and achieve kindness through your positive actions, demeanor, and contributions. We cannot expect kindness for just existing. We also cannot abandon self-accountability and label constructive criticism as cruelty, which we tend to do when receiving unfavorable feedback. When you’re genuine, considerate, and bringing your best self, you’ll be a beacon of kindness, and less derailed when faced with inevitable friction or criticism.

- Garrett

AI Response: Intentional kindness is a strategic leadership asset, not a blanket endorsement of poor performance: research from Harvard Business School shows that leaders who demonstrate compassion see their teams as more collaborative and loyal, while a study in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that acts of kindness create contagion, boosting well-being and reducing turnover. Conversely, workplace incivility, like bullying, costs companies billions in lost productivity and absenteeism according to the Workplace Bullying Institute. Thus, choosing kindness is an evidence-based, robust leadership strategy that fosters resilience and results, fully compatible with providing authentic, accountable feedback.

The Kindness We Carry: A Choice for Leaders

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