I Know What’s Missing in Leadership

Listening to indigenous elders taught me the value of this beautiful question: “What’s Missing?”

First Nation elders often use this inquiry to address any gaps in their understanding in relationships with others. It’s a powerful, open-ended pursuit for finding a better way.

I’ve been asking myself “what’s missing in leadership today?” It’s a simple question and there is much complexity to answering it well and completely. I certainly do not have my arms around this big topic. However, I genuinely believe one missing leadership ingredient is the right attention to character.

The big leadership gap today is NOT about getting results and decision making. We actually seem to have an abundance of people who relish accumulating and applying power for these desired outcomes. The missing ingredient is how we go about getting those results: Our character.

Books like Atomic Habits (habit-driven character) and Dare to Lead (vulnerability in leadership) are bestsellers. Google searches for "how to build character" have risen more than 40 percent in five years. (Google Trends). It just seems that more people are wondering if we are giving attention to the “how” as much as the “what?” In the summer of 2020, Apple TV+’s now most watched series Ted Lasso premiered. When Lasso describes his goals as a soccer coach, rather than the championships he hopes to win or some other conventional metric of success, he says, “For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field.

Recent blogs I published referred to real life legendary basketball coaches Gregg Popovich and John Wooden, who interestingly focused on the same balanced approach regarding success as the fictitious Ted Lasso.

Character in leadership isn’t a big judgment statement about being a good or bad person. We are all obviously imperfect human beings. It's about being effective by applying a set of principles, values and guidelines that frames the way a person thinks, feels and behaves. It’s the correct balance between the end and means. And if the end is creating more harm than good at the win- lose expense of others, how can that possibly be beneficial and sustainable in the long run?

In his recent article in the Atlantic, “How America Got Mean,” author David Brooks chronicles the deterioration of character and moral guidance in America today.

Brooks observes, “In our society, the commercial or utilitarian goals tend to eclipse the moral goals. Doctors are pressured by hospital administrators to rush through patients so they can charge more fees. Journalists are incentivized to write stories that confirm reader prejudices in order to climb the most-read lists. Whole companies slip into an optimization mindset, in which everything is done to increase output and efficiency.

Moral renewal won’t come until we have leaders who are explicit, loud, and credible about both sets of goals. Here’s how we’re growing financially, but also here’s how we’re learning to treat one another with consideration and respect; here’s how we’re going to forgo some financial returns in order to better serve our higher mission.”

Brooks goes on to argue, “The best modern approach to building character is described in Iris Murdoch’s book The Sovereignty of Good. Murdoch writes that ‘nothing in life is of any value except the attempt to be virtuous.’ For her, moral life is not defined merely by great deeds of courage or sacrifice in epic moments. Instead, moral life is something that goes on continually—treating people considerately in the complex situations of daily existence. For her, the essential moral act is casting a ‘just and loving’ attention on other people.”

Right now it seems fashionable, noble and even desirable for many so-called leaders to win at any cost. The end does justify the means for perhaps too many people. Virtue and sacrifice are reserved for suckers and losers. If things aren’t going well it’s because other people are weak and probably need to be culled in some way. And yes, there are some people out there who are not self-accountable, working the system and unreasonably entitled. However, it’s a leadership privilege and opportunity to find a way to help them thrive. And frankly, the intentional takers are a very small percentage of any community.

I have talked to literally thousands of people about what makes Great (Not Perfect) Leadership throughout my 75 years on this earth. Almost always the word “care” comes up in some form or another. The best leaders genuinely care about us at a personal level - Casting love and attention. That’s character!

I’m obviously idealistic and yet hopefully not completely foolish or naive. I accept our imperfect humanness and natural survival instincts that dip us into the abyss of “me first at any cost.” I also believe what’s missing is more attention to the fight for character and virtue in leadership. We are all worth it.

Who says we can’t build and create leaders who genuinely commit to the deep respect and consideration of others in daily life? Isn’t that what’s missing? If it is, we can find that character in ourselves and others. I’m going to work on myself first. I hope you’ll join me.

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now,

- Lorne

One Millennial View: There’s a reason this blog is 100 pages long, because it’s situational and complicated. In parallel to increased meanness, maybe people have been pressured to accept so many veneers that some trust has been eroded. Intentional takers might be a small percentage of the community, yet it's understandable that some are wary of being manipulated. Great (not perfect) leaders can showcase their value by accepting the challenge to figure out how to demonstrate that exemplary character is still modeled in the best workplaces. Good to note that people’s BS meters are on high alert.

- Garrett

AI Response: Your reflection on the importance of character in leadership resonates deeply, especially in a world where results often overshadow ethics. Studies show that 85% of employees value ethical leadership over performance alone (Edelman Trust Barometer), yet only 29% feel their leaders prioritize moral integrity (Gallup). The rise in searches for "how to build character" and the popularity of shows like Ted Lasso—which saw 1.7 billion minutes streamed in 2021 (Nielsen)—highlight a growing hunger for leaders who balance success with humanity. As David Brooks notes, moral erosion stems from prioritizing utility over virtue, but leaders who cast "just and loving attention" on others can rebuild trust. Character isn’t perfection; it’s daily commitment to respect and care. Let’s champion this missing ingredient—starting with ourselves.

I Know What’s Missing in Leadership

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