A FIGHT Breaks Out!

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What It’s About: A sports report popped up on my newsfeed about how a recent Calgary Flames practice became feisty. There were reports of teammates pushing and shoving each other, a player smashing his stick on the crossbar of the goal, and other energetic activity. Of course, it’s getting to be playoff time in the NHL, and tension is increasing. It’s not uncommon to see peer-to-peer pressure boil over.

While this is a little more visible in professional sports, peer conflict is a regular occurance in the world of work. A healthy team has a constructive level of conflict. When it turns into lingering, personal hostility, the situation can rapidly move from functional to dysfunctional.

So What?: Not everyone is going to like each other on teams. It’s natural that we are more attracted to some than others. However, in order for teams to be more effective, authenticity, acceptance and accountability must transcend personal likes. So when conflict between folks emerges, both peers and the leader need to contribute forward, positive resolutions. The most important consideration is to NOT let it fester. Hopefully things quickly work out, and self aware combatants sort through it on their own. When it doesn’t, both peers and the leader must act to achieve a solution.

Now What?: If you are a peer, be understanding, compassionate and offer to help without taking sides. It’s important that you let people know that you care about fixes, and that infighting has consequences to the entire team. If you’re the leader, ideally you can facilitate the expectation that those in disagreement can work it out themselves. Very often they can, especially when they know you expect them to do so. What is not helpful to anyone is when the matter becomes personal and a distraction to team effectiveness. When that happens, the leader must more directly intervene. If it can’t be resolved, then the “nuclear option” is to remove and replace the participants. Fortunately, when individual and team expectations regarding collaboration, and the idea that people can attack processes, problems and situations but NEVER each other, the removal of individuals rarely is required.

Think about using the STAR technique to guide the resolution:

S: Describe the situation.

T: Agree on the targets.

A: Jointly determine action.

R: Determine what results look like.

P.S., Just because people are working virtually, don’t assume there isn't conflict. It just looks and feels differently on a platform.

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now,

- Lorne

One Millennial View: I’ve come to recognize that one of the hardest, perhaps most overlooked and unintended consequences of working remotely, is we can no longer see some otherwise obvious puzzle pieces in an office setting. For example: You don’t overhear things anymore, what others are concentrating on/prioritizing, gauge energy levels/satisfaction of team members, or just bounce back ideas in real time. Now, to find out requires another distracting task, another email, another text, another meeting, another “PING!” instead of that former, quick, in-person check-in. That makes things tough. However, in order to limit unintended conflict, we’ll have to do our best to work through that obstacle.

- Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis.

A FIGHT Breaks Out!

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