Canceled Versus Thanked

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What It’s About: The funny 2010 British movie, Cemetery Junction, has a memorable scene where the CEO/founder of a company, played by Ralph Fiennes, pays “tribute” to a retiree who spent 40 plus years working for the firm. The boss actually gives more accolades to the cheap, glass punch bowl bought as a retirement gift, than he does to the years of contribution of the retiree. It's pathetic, and seat squirming to watch the interaction between the tone deaf founder, deeply disappointed (but not surprised) employee, and rest of the numbed attendees. Why? Because many of us have seen representative versions of this situation in real life.

In his interesting book “Hello,Goodbye,” author Day Schildkret, referenced a 30-plus year HR practitioner’s observation of how most people felt upon leaving an organization. Her choice of descriptive word actually caused the author to gasp. It was “CANCELED.” Instead of being thanked and respected, they felt immediately irrelevant and soon forgotten, as if they didn’t even exist or matter. Wow! If that’s how most people feel after leaving a job, then you have to really wonder why anyone would want to enthusiastically give their very best in the workplace?

So What?: If organizations expect people to be all in, bring their authentic selves to the workplace, fully contribute, and feel like they really belong, we must improve the way we say goodbye to employees. I’ve spoken and written about this many times. We will all have a last day. Schildkret recommends employing “goodbye rituals.”

Now What?: Create goodbye rituals that intentionally give celebration and acknowledgement by inviting the leaver to answer the following three questions:

What did I do that I’m proud of?
What do I hope to leave behind?
What and/or who am I grateful for?

While those remaining can be invited to add to the self-reflection of the person leaving, the responses of the leaver have priority. Schildkret offers an additional idea as a ritual: Invite the person leaving to offer a gift. One example was a person who left favorite poems printed and embossed as symbols of her pride being part of the group. The message here is that giving at the time of leaving reinforces that everyone belonged and mattered. Counterintuitively being remembered includes thanking as well as being thanked. Leaving matters. You and I matter. We were there.

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now,

- Lorne

One Millennial View: I know most people’s goal is to succeed and bring their best value, however I wonder how often we adopt a mindset where we strive to be missed. Really put intention into doing work that we’re proud of, develop practices others can utilize and learn from, and be grateful for fellow teammates. Yes, we’ll all have a last day, but perhaps we can also put a deliberate focus on ensuring no one is saying “good riddance.” I know I’d be thankful for that.

- Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis.

Canceled Versus Thanked

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