Coaching Is Not Cheerleading

Lessons from the sideline

I was at one of our grandkids' soccer games the other day. Recreation soccer, kids mostly nine and under, and a crowd of parents lined up along the touchline with folding chairs and coffee.

I started paying attention to what we were all shouting. "Great kick!" "You rock!" "Way to try!" It was loud, loving and relentless.

I am not knocking anyone. The coaches are volunteers, usually a well meaning parent who drew the short straw and is not versed in high level soccer. The parents and grandparents love their kids. Still, I couldn’t help but realize I was listening to a lot of cheerleading and very little coaching.

The young people are telling us something

The sideline reminded me of a recent Wall Street Journal piece on Gen Z and workplace feedback. Employers are scrambling. They are hiring consultants, buying AI coaching tools and adding more frequent check-ins, all to give younger workers the clear, regular direction they say they want.

Several young workers told the WSJ they do not need the heavy praise many managers assume they need. One said he would rather his manager point out the mistake and suggest a fix. Clarity, it turns out, can matter more than compliments.

That should not surprise any of us. Most people, at any age, want to improve. They just want someone who cares enough to show them how.

Direction without the why

What I noticed on that field was not a lack of instruction. The kids get plenty of direction. "Get back!" "Pass it!" "Stay wide!"

What they rarely hear is context. Nobody explains why staying wide opens up space for a teammate, or why getting back matters when the other team has the ball. The kids were told what to do, never the reasoning behind it.

Direction without context produces compliance. Context produces understanding. And understanding is what lets a nine-year-old, or a 29-year-old analyst, make a good decision when the coach is not shouting from the sideline.

Coaching myself

Over a long executive career, I put a lot of energy into appreciation and encouragement. I still believe in both. People need to know they are valued.

However, I was often a better cheerleader than teacher. I celebrated the effort and sometimes skipped the harder, more useful conversation about how to get better and why it makes an impact.

Encouragement tells people they belong. Coaching allows them to grow.

Great leaders do both.

What coaching is and isn’t

Cheerleading is not coaching. "You rock" feels good for a moment. It does not help anyone kick better on Saturday or write a sharper proposal next Monday.

Micromanaging is not coaching. Standing over someone and directing every move teaches dependence, not capability. It is control dressed up as help.

Power is not coaching. Effective coaching never relies on the abuse of power dynamics to treat people poorly. Yelling, belittling and fear might yield short term compliance. They never build a capable, confident person.

Coaching is teaching. Real coaching shows the what, explains the why and then trusts the person to try. It is specific, timely, and comes from someone who clearly wants you to succeed. The WSJ piece made the same point, suggesting managers swap vague advice like "be more responsive" for something concrete, such as needing a reply within an hour.

From the sideline to the boardroom

Before your next check in, ask yourself three questions:

Am I giving direction, or am I giving context?
Am I telling them what to do, or teaching them how to think about it?
Will they leave this conversation better equipped, or just feeling good?

Keep the appreciation and encouragement, just don’t stop there. Cheering is easy, coaching takes more time, patience and care.

The kids on that field are better off when they hear more than "great kick." So are the people we lead.

How do I turn vague feedback like “be more proactive” into specific, actionable coaching for someone on my team?

What about you? Who was a coach in your life who took the time to explain the why?

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now,

- Lorne

Garrett’s View: It’s been 20 years since I’ve put on football pads, and I still remember what our coaches would bark at us. “There’s only two people, the quick and the dead.” “Yesterday I couldn’t even spell a-ther-lete, today I are one.” “It’s lunch bag in helmet day.” Those might sound nonsensical, however each had fundamentals attached in the context and a reason why they’re not forgotten. Cheerleading is reserved for those you aren’t really depending on, and coaching is for those you truly believe in.

- Garrett

AI Response: The data backs Lorne up on both frequency and quality. Gallup has found that 80% of employees who received meaningful feedback in the past week were fully engaged, yet only 16% of workers said their last conversation with a manager was extremely meaningful, and only 26% strongly agree that the feedback they receive helps them do better work. That is the cheerleading gap in numbers: lots of talking, little teaching. On the Gen Z point, a 2023 StaffCircle survey found that 73% of Gen Z employees are likely to leave an organization if they don't receive frequent managerial feedback and communication, compared with 52% of non-Gen Z employees. Even recognition works better when it's specific: in Gallup and Workhuman research, employees who strongly agree they receive "authentic" recognition are 5.2x as likely to envision a path for growth in their workplace. Gallup's chief scientist Jim Harter puts it simply: what good managers do differently is have at least one meaningful conversation once a week with each employee.

Coaching Is Not Cheerleading

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