Combating the Loneliness Factory

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Ongoing loneliness raises a person’s odds of death by 26 percent in any given year. The research on what is fundamental to having a long and healthy life is overwhelmingly clear. Having meaningful relationships with others matters more than any other factor. This is not an argument for the way it happens, just that it does. If you are not convinced, research the various studies yourself.

Each of us is unique, and having a caring relationship with others and the approach can take on many forms. What’s not debatable is that we need people to care for, and to care for other people. And we need those people in our lives on a regular basis. If not daily, weekly at minimum. Checking in once a year at Thanksgiving doesn’t qualify. A pet helps, but it’s not a replacement.

Today’s western societies have become loneliness factories. We spend less time as a collective with extended families, in marriage, the same communities, in church, clubs, etc. And since Covid, it’s become worse. We are literally and metaphorically spread out, often by ourselves. Technology is an asset, but it’s different from sitting beside someone caring. If you want to picture a dramatic visual, think about ALL those nursing home folks parked by a beleaguered, underpaid staff in front of the visitors elevator for eight hours… Their daily entertainment. Now extend the metaphor to all the coffee shops with plugged in people, sitting alone, tuned into their devices. Same essential picture without the dementia and drooling.

My contribution to this situation revolves around the workplace. For many people it’s the only place for regular interaction with others. The workplace does NOT qualify as a surrogate for regular, meaningful relationships. Yet for many adults, it’s an important part of the picture. Many lifelong friendships begin at work. And that’s why I get so pissed off when companies treat workers like cattle. When Twitter, Meta, Microsoft, etc. hire willfully on a Friday and callously lay off thousands on the next Monday, they are irresponsibly messing with people's lives. I get it if the long term sustainability of the company is involved, however way too often it’s pandering to a short term stock price or result.

Every organization should pay attention to what the person has going on outside of daily work. This is NOT to cross private personal boundaries. However, we should incentivize people to become “part of” initiatives outside of work and invest accordingly. Details would need to be worked out, however you would get a personal tax credit for every organization you volunteered for, and for every club you were active in. This would be grandfathered in as long as you were meaningfully involved.

This may sound far fetched or even kooky. Perhaps you have better ideas? What we can’t afford is loneliness, and for employers to shed themselves of any responsibilities in this context.

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now,

- Lorne

One Millennial View: Current 37-year-old bachelor here, who works from home. There are some methods to combat loneliness that work for me: 1. You have to earn the company you keep. If you’re lonely, then you can be more reflective. Relentlessly improve yourself to be someone that others enjoy spending time with. You’re owed nothing. 2. Plan ahead. Always have something to look forward to on the horizon that involves the company of other people. 3. Get immense enjoyment out of the small things, phone calls, FaceTime, etc. that you have with others. Take none of that for granted, and make it last. Start a “Happy Saturday” group text with friends. I started one more than 10 years ago with the same group, every Saturday morning. 4. If you know what type of company you want to be in, then again - put yourself in a position to get there. This is the hardest “easier said than done” advice ever, however, it retains an optimistic goal, and I’ll keep this to re-read for my own reminder. Time can fly, however, it’s best when you’re not flying solo forever.

- Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

Combating the Loneliness Factory

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