When Should We No Longer Tolerate Jerk Behavior?

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What It’s About: In Nov. 2021, a record 4.5 million people quit their jobs in the U.S.? “Quit Toks” - TikTok videos of people celebrating their decision to leave jobs they didn’t like, have become a thing. There are lots of reasons people quit jobs, of course, and jerk-like behavior from disrespectful bosses and/or colleagues is often the final straw. It’s not that people have become thin skinned, it’s just that people have had enough. Being ridiculed, having one’s ideas called “stupid,” ordering people to do activity that seems like busy work, etc. etc. is less about the lack of sophisticated leadership development than the absence of basic decency and respect. All of us will do or say things to hurt others from time to time. However, I’m not talking about the occasional human lapse. I’m talking about regular jerk-like behavior that intentionally sucks the dignity and self-worth from others under the cape of people who see themselves as bosses.

So What?: Look at the wonderful graphic below, and honestly ask yourself, is this too much to expect of bosses? And what if we could extend the same behavior between colleagues? Where does it imply that one has to be sarcastic, mean spirited, angry, short tempered, and masterful of the “put down” in order to get results?

Now What?: The other day, I had a conversation with leaders I really respect about the importance of immediately removing bosses (and non-boss employees) who regularly displayed jerk-like behavior. I believe this is necessary in order to advance a positive culture. One of the honest responses was, “but we’re doing so well financially now,” implying that financial results paved the way for tolerating jerks. My point: That’s the ideal time to invite respectful and dignified exits of those who just can’t or don’t want to get the idea that decency and respect are non-negotiable expectations we should expect from each other. If not now, when?

Think Big, Start Small, Act Now,

- Lorne

One Millennial View: To be fair, each and every one of us has been considered a jerk to someone, at some point. I’d argue that 90 percent of the time, a “jerk” is not intentionally being one. Let’s build teams that follow, uphold and believe in the company’s values. Use critical thinking as well as analyze nuance and context. If we want people to be their true, authentic selves at work, and not completely phony, then that will include a variety of diverse personalities that we should learn to navigate accordingly. Have the courage to address what you might consider indecent or disrespectful. Conversing and problem solving is so much cooler than lobbying to fire, and certainly a lot less contemptible than a “Quit Tok.” I think if you made a “Quit Tok,” you shouldn’t be eligible to date anyone. Does that make me a jerk? Haha.

- Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

When Should We No Longer Tolerate Jerk Behavior?

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